Elsa and I escaped to Palm Springs after New Year’s to take a break from the cold and wet Seattle winter. We spent the morning of New Year 2022 strolling through a local botanical garden and cactarium. The garden featured desert trees, plants, and cacti from around the world, which ranged in size from miniature to giant. Prior to visiting the cactarium, my exposure to cacti consisted of a trivial selection that graced our home and the Arizona Saguaro cactus, the kind you would likely see in most western movie sets. The forms and features of cacti displayed at the garden were beyond my imagination. I wondered about the survival advantages of each unique form in the parched and harsh desert climate. With every specimen that caught my eye, I discovered, without failure, they all featured prominent spines for protection. One will definitely experience a sharp, unwelcomed jab if one ever got too close or accidentally brushed up against it.

An authentic New Testament community lives together in close quarters, sharing everything with one another. Such closeness results in inescapable jabs, scratches, or cuts we inflict on one another while carrying out God’s mission for the church. Misunderstanding and disagreement abound in church life. When we have offended or been offended, scripture calls us to reconcile quickly with the other party (Eph. 4:26-27, Matt. 5:23-24). True, at times we can simply overlook the offense or live with it by offering grace. But, when do we need to reconcile? My own litmus test is when I cannot overlook the offense or forgive: if I begin to hold a grudge and only see that brother or sister in light of their offense, or when the appearance of the individual reminds me of the offense. If the offense and negative attributes of the person are all I see, then I know I need to put reconciliation on my list of to-dos.

Reconciliation is the balm that soothes wounds and stops the small wound from becoming infected, which can lead to greater harm to the whole body. What happens when we don’t reconcile? I think you can play out the scenario in your own head. We’ve all been there before. The hard work of reconciliation causes me to recognize that I’m just as thorny as the brother or sister who had offended me. Fault and blame do not rest exclusively on the other party. It causes me to admit that I may have likely, maybe unknowingly, contributed to the offense or misunderstanding with my own actions and words.