My Bible reading has brought me to the major prophets these days. Many of us like the words of Isaiah - “Here am I. Send me!” (Is. 6:8) However, let us not stop at this verse. God told Isaiah that His message to the people would not be well-received or welcomed (Is. 6:9-10). Same with Jeremiah – his messages were rejected by the people, and even led to ridicule and threats. Further, Jeremiah never saw the response of repentance from the people, nor the redemption that he proclaimed so faithfully. For Ezekiel, God told him from the start that “the people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn” (Ezek. 2:4).

As I reflect on my ministry, past and present, I, too, have wondered at times if my ministry is being welcomed and well-received. I also have been rejected and ridiculed – when I went to Hong Kong to teach a seminary course a few years ago, the seminary president questioned (with me present!) why I was given a larger teaching portion, since I was “only” a Chinese woman with no doctoral credential, as compared to my teaching partner, who is a white American man with a PhD. Just as Jeremiah said to God, “I do not know how to speak; I am only a child,” (Jer. 1:6), I likewise cried out to God, “How do I speak? I am only a child who is being despised for my ethnicity, gender, and education.”

The words that God spoke to Jeremiah came to me and comforted me – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. … Do not say, ‘I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you” (Jer. 1:5,7-8). Brushing away the words of the seminary president, I held onto the words of God in my heart, stepping boldly forward in Christ through the Spirit to do what God had gifted and called me to do.

What I faced was not really because of my being Chinese or a woman, or of my being too young or unqualified, but the stubbornness of people’s hearts, as Jeremiah said over and over again in his messages. I cannot change their hearts, but can only pray for God’s work of heart transformation in them. I resolve [a word used in Dan. 1:8 to describe his response to God; the Hebrew also has “upon his heart” following “resolved”] to respond to God’s calling and not be put down by men’s words. And so, with faith and courage, I can and will continue to say to God, “Here am I. Send me!” (Is. 6:8)

P.S. God changed the heart of the seminary president as he listened to my teaching, and he saw and also confirmed with me God’s gifting and calling to me. I am also thankful to God for putting me here at ECC, allowing me to continue to explore, answer, and exercise my gifting and calling from God.