What do we do with our pain and loss? There have been many times when I experienced pain and loss. I have tried many things and most of them have not worked. In fact, I would forget how to express myself in my immature attempts to deal with loss. But I have found one thing that does help me – talking. Finding someone I trust and talking with him/her helps me begin to process the pain and loss. When someone listens to me, I find my speaking about it lets out some of the pent-up feelings.

I am not one who normally journals; I lack the discipline to do so consistently. Yet, there have been times when, for a period of time, I have been able to prayerfully journal as a way to talk to myself. The art of submitting my thoughts to God and then thinking to myself what I want to say has helped me to dig into my heart and weigh my thoughts and counsel myself with measured wisdom.
Learning how to talk honestly and openly with God has been tremendously helpful to me. I learned this from the Psalms where I read about men asking God tough questions with the expectation of God giving them a response. One psalmist asked God, “How long, O Jehovah? Wilt thou forget me forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” (Psalm 13:1). I saw these as God’s invitation to come, speak, and trust that He will respond. So, I have brought my questions and pains and complaints to God. Often, I have not found the answers I expected and certainly most answers were not immediate. But I have found what I wanted most: community. My pain and loss cut me off. My heart was turned off. But God connected me with others to give me what I most yearned for: Himself and others whom I can care for and who care for me. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I can say God has always been there; God has never ignored me, and God has never let me down.

This is what I have learned to do with my pain and loss. “In my distress I cried unto Jehovah, and he answered me.” Ps. 120:1